January 13, 2015

4 Reasons You (and I) Are still Single

You don't have a man? Pretty girl like you? You must like women? What's wrong with ya?? Insert eye roll here. These are the questions I hear at least once a week. They don't upset me or piss me off at all. They do however, make me think and question myself as to why I am indeed single, or why people find my singleness to be a problem. Here's what I've come up with:

We might still be single because:

1. We refuse to settle. I have this idea of what kind of man I want right? He's tall, handsome, successful, kind, respectful blah blah. I know how he'd approach me, what he'll say and how I'll respond already figured out in my head. So, when I'm approached by the exact opposite of what I've envisioned, it just doesn't fit the image I've created for me in my head. Crazy I know. But I know what I want, and I just can't settle for less.

2. We're not ready or just afraid of commitment. I've said this time and time again, I love the freedom of being single. To be able to get up and go, or not have to consider someone else's happiness is everything to me right now. Plus, after a year and half in this single game,  I'm still not lonely to the point where I feel I need somebody to occupy my time, all the time. I'm realizing it's okay to do me and if someone wonderful (like the guy I described in number one) happens to show up... great! But, I'm not to the point where I'll run him down either.

3. We still have baggage. Okay, we're women... right? Holding on to baggage is kinda like our thing. Don't feel bad about that. That's why breaks are important. You give yourself time  to deal with those past pains and disappointments, as well as allow yourself time to achieve clarity and piece of my mind. You know you're almost close to closure when you can actually chuckle about the foolishness you've been through instead of crying or getting depressed or angry.

4. We're too confident. And dammit you know what?  We should be! If you know your worth, confidence should be considered icing on the cake to the right guy. Anyone who can't take the time or make the effort to do, be and treat you like you deserve shouldn't be entertained. Period.

So really, there's nothing wrong with us! Being single is not an incurable disease and you shouldn't feel bad about it. Take your time and enjoy loving and getting to know you.




  1. I love this. I truely believe that in order for me to love some one else...i have to first live myself.